Part 1-2008: Loss & Love can be read here.

2008 gave me some great life changing experiences to be thankful for. I learned a lot about myself and life this past year and I have never felt stronger or more sure of myself.

In order of events:

Coming Out:
I came out to my family & friends at the beginning of the year. They were all accepting I feel very lucky because I know what some parents, relatives and friends can be like. It took me years to get to this point, I am so glad, relieved and over the moon to finally be out, proud and happy.

Remembering why I love my friends:
This one is for Candice back in May. You know what it is. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. <3

Coming Out at Work for the 1st time-with a positive response:
I had three different jobs this past year. The second one was back in April and I was asked out by a male co-worker. I didn’t have the balls to tell him I’m gay so I said I was already seeing someone. He was still embarrassed, though, lol In June I was at my most recent job and Janelle was trying to make conversation, asked me if I had a boyfriend, and not missing a beat I blurted out that I don’t date guys lol This told me I was comfortable with workers knowing my sexuality. People spreading news came in handy for the first time and the work was done for me-everyone knew. They were all accepting but I think that the head chef being a major dyke made it easier for me. Her and I didn’t bond though, she needed a personality transplant lol I was even able to discuss which celebrities I thought were hot with some of the guys and they were mature about it as well. One of the chefs, 23, he was a wanker about it at times (talking about hot lesbians) - he is the male that loves platinum, oven baked, rock hard round implanted lesbians… ie-what you see on bad porn. Eew!

Mr. B:
Mr. B… *swoons* Mr. B is Bernie, my baby that I’ve been with for 5 months. Why Mr.? She is uber butch so didn’t like being called ‘miss’ LOL I have never met someone that touches me the way she does (emotionally you perverts! ;)), makes me want to be the best I can, motivates me, inspires me, as she does. Meeting her and being by her side has changed my life for the better. I have learned and grown a lot with her, even in just 5 months. We share the same views and morals in life and I adore her. I couldn’t ask for a better girl. She is so caring, loving, understanding, funny, supportive and passionate in her interests and life. She doesn’t cook much which is good because I’m fucking hopeless at it so we’re at equal playing grounds LOL Though she does like to try and keep me out of the kitchen because I’m so clumsy and tend to break anything in my path LOL

I rarely read fics over at fanfiction.net but I decided to browse for a/o last night and came across one that was written in October 2004. I also decided to read the reviews and was highly amused at some of the attitudes. This fic was nice romantic fluff. The most ‘erotic’ thing that happened was loving kisses on the lips (no tongue) and them watching each other sleep. Check out the responses:

“i opened this submution thinking it was a scene writin for a normal episode and find this demented ** up view of alex an olivia. all i have to say to the writer is that he/she is one twisted ** up son of a **. thank you VERY MUCH for destroing my view of oliva(my fav character) and view of alex (my sisters). ill never be able to watch them with out seeing mental pictures again.”

“Wow. You have a perverted and crazy mind. But I do see where you are coming from. In my opinion, they could both pass as lesbians. The story was funny yet disgusting at the same time. I will never look at them the sme way the next time I watch the show.”

LMAO!!! Um, wow… Fuck me, how I wish I had their emails to send them some good kinky a/o fics ;D

I feel the need to have a rant about the ‘fan site world’:

Pros: I enjoy making sites on people in the public eye that I admire and/or love their acting abilities. I love sharing my fandom of these people with other fans through sites and hope they’ll learn something new or be inspired by or get enjoyment out of what the celeb does for a living.

Cons: The one thing that I don’t like about the ‘fan site world’ are the egos that too many webmasters have. These ‘elite-ists’ need to get a grip on reality and lighten the fuck up-seriously. A fansite is run to show your love of the celebrity, yes? A good site is more than having the best media, the best log ins and being a ‘popular webmaster’, you know? It just seems to be so much about greed and power when it’s just a fucking fandom site. I’m not trying to say I’m some great webmaster with my head on straight, not at all. I’m just saying I’m sick of all the egostistical bullshit and the drama and needed to vent about it. Grow up and get over yourself arsehole webmasters.

A little healthy competition is always a good thing but fansites are meant to be a hobby - a fun activity - not cut throat fight till you’re the best. I often wonder how many people remember that.

Jennifer, april, Sina,
• ALC
Mel,

Oh shit… this is not good. Not good at all. Now that a trial is going ahead I have begun to pack my dacks and fear for our civil rights.

To summarise (No to Internet Censorship in Australia):

The Australian Federal Government is pushing forward with a plan to force Internet Service Providers [ISPs] to censor the Internet for all Australians. This plan will waste tens of millions of taxpayer dollars and slow down Internet access.

Despite being almost universally condemned by the public, ISPs, State Governments, Media and censorship experts, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy is determined to force this filter into your home.

$44million has been budgeted for this so far… We do not know how ‘illegal’ material is defined… What about sex education sites? How do you remove those from the black lists? This will make Australia’s internet speed even SLOWER 0_o

But my real problem with this (aside from not being able to watch porn - or even access sites to fucking order it! lol) is what about gay communities and gay education sites?

From Melbourne Community Voice:

“If they put in a dynamic filtering scheme, these [gay sites] are the sites that would be over blocked the most, because the software is not good enough to reliably distinguish between sexuality and pornography, the technology just isn’t there yet. Sites with sexual health or other issues of sexuality could certainly be blocked.”

Senator Ludlam has similar fears, and places gay websites in the top three category of sites that would be targeted under a massive mandatory internet filtering system.

“Our concern is it would take a blacklist with 800 or 900 sites on it at the moment and create a vast grey list of tens of millions of web pages, which will inadvertently block out material you’re supposed to get such as gay and lesbian health-related information or breast cancer,” he says.

“There are people out there who believe homosexuality should be outlawed and [gay websites] are exactly the kind of material they’re going to try to get taken offline,” Ludlam continues.

“The Christian/Family lobby are the only people that are active in the media pushing for this scheme to go ahead,” he says. {Surprise-fucking-surprise!}

“Gay marriage is the most interesting example because it’s unlawful in Australia, regrettably at the moment, so that’s the kind of material they’re going to be trying to take offline because it’s illegal,” he says.

I’m all for preventing kids from seeing unsuitable media but this system can’t prevent sites that shouldn’t be blocked from being so-it shouldn’t go ahead. Going into it all gung-ho with $44million in your pocket with a system that has so many holes isn’t going to solve anything.

I’ve always been so proud being an Australian meant you had such a freedom of speech and access to the media -especially after Proposition 8- and now this… This is fucking scary. It’s 2008 and we could soon be blocked from tens of thousands of sources of valuable information :/

Also, ‘illegal content’, I wonder if fansites will be included in this..? From what I am reading the focus seems to be on pornography but still… What’s to stop them from illegal uploads etc?

Sina,

The polls close in 4 days and 1 hours 0_o It would make me sick to the stomach to finally be given a basic human right only to be faced with the possibility of it being taken away. I’m at a loss for words. Marriage is about love. People against gay marriage certainly can’t use straight marriages as an example of how it should be done, that’s for sure. When was the last time they checked their divorce statistics against survived marriages? But then, California is governed by the Terminator.

Holy shit, check this out:

30.10.08 - Vatican calls for psych tests to weed out gays

The Vatican said Thursday it is considering psychological testing for prospective priests to screen out candidates “with strong homosexual tendencies” and heterosexuals “unable to control their sexual urges.”

The document, released by Vatican’s Congregation for Catholic Education, said that early detection of “sometimes pathological defects” would help avoid tragic experiences - a veiled reference to the sexual abuse scandal that rocked the Church and which the Vatican has blamed on homosexuality, despite evidence showing no link between sexual orientation and pedophilia.

The Vatican said that testing would be decided on a case-by-case basis when seminary rectors feared a prospective priest had “grave immaturity.”

“Such areas of immaturity would include strong affective dependencies; notable lack of freedom in relations; excessive rigidity of character; lack of loyalty; uncertain sexual identity; deep-seated homosexual tendencies, etc.”

The document also said that it was “not enough to be sure that [a candidate for the priesthood] is capable of abstaining from sexual activity” but also to “evaluate his sexual orientation.”

In 2005, the Vatican ordered a major evaluation of U.S. seminaries to look for evidence of homosexuality. It said that men with “deep-seated” homosexual tendencies shouldn’t be ordained, but that those with a “transitory problem” could become priests if they had overcome them for three years.

0_o… 0_o… What a load of fucking bullshit, seriously. I am at a loss for words.

A comment posted to this hits it on the head: “So lets assume the Roman Church CAN weed out all gay men. What will they do when the child molestations continue? Pedophiles are very canny about how they present themselves. The RCC gets rid of gays but that isn’t the problem since gay men are interested in men not children. So now what do you do Mr. Potato Head? aka Il Papa”

Damn right. To assume and judge gays for sick twisted ppl’s wrongs is not only insulting but shows just how small minded, ill-educated and ignorant they really are.

This comment stunned me: “You have to know what a vocation is like before you can just advise people to avoid the RC church. It’s not that simple for someone called to serve God. The problem is in Rome.”

This is truly disturbing to think that this person, and very likely many more, think that the problem is isolated in Rome.

While on the topic of gay/lesbians, last night I updated my list of sites I visit frequently. Here are the lesbian based ones:

Sugar Butch Chronicles (fave!)
“The sex, gender, and relationship adventures of a kinky queer butch top. Come for the smut, stay for the theory.”

Getting off whilst learning? What more could a girl ask for? This site has wicked erotic fiction, great product reviews and always interesting reads. That the author is a butch top makes it all the better *wink* mwahahaha

Sexuality Happens
“This blog is full of thoughts discussions about the full spectrum of sexuality, sex toy/porn/book reviews (all reviewed by yours truly of course!), pieces of my personal life (yes, including snippets of sex stories), poignant news relating to sexuality, sex tips, video blogs and the (more than) occasional opinion piece with rants, rages, and questions about things relevant to sexuality.”

I originally started visiting this site for the awesome erotic fiction but it’s actually a quite interesting and informative site. Def a fave now.

grrlplanet
“Grrlplanet.com is the uncensored way we really see the world; a biting, good-humored, and honest examination of pop culture, celebrity, products, media, and the lives and perspectives of women who dig women. Of course, we think most everyone can appreciate a good laugh.”

This site is addictive! haha Take this entry for example, lmao

Femmes Guide
“The Femmes Guide is a sex-positive femme queer collaborative blog meant to be a fun, enjoyable, educational, and sometimes snarky look at femmeininity and femme culture. We aim to create a resource for the online femme community, where femmes can gain helpful information about navigating in this world as a femme, learn about the way others view their femme identity, and come to a greater understanding of their own femme identity.”

In terms of ‘categorisation’, I am a ‘femme’ lesbian. I don’t go about my life trying to live like a ‘femme’, fuck no, but I thought this site could be a good read to see how other ‘femmes’ view themselves, the media etc etc. There needs to be a site for ‘femmes’ who look feminine but are boyish in behaviour, lol. Ie-someone who swears like a sailor and burps and farts like a bloke. Perhaps a little gross to some but this is me, lol. When I started dating Bernie, Candice said, ‘I hope she doesn’t think she’s getting a girl just because you wear dresses’, lmao!!! Indeed.

The Lesbian Life Style
“The Lesbian Lifestyles mission is a simple one. This blog was created to collect real life stories written by lesbians from around the world. The Lesbian Lifestyles goal is to become the largest lesbian storyteller blog on the Internet. We have been around since 2004, we have over 170 registered authors, and over 700 posts.”

Pretty much what the blurb says. It’s an informative read and has many great resources.

Lestopia
“Lesbiatopia.com is a group blog that was created with the hope that queer-identified women could write about anything and everything. We strive to offer you a unique and interesting array of topics, opinions, stories and points-of-view from queer women.”

As above.

Same Same
An Australian gay news (local and international) blog, forums and community.

365 Gay
An international gay news blog.

Jul,
• ALC